Guidelines

Rules but less strict.

Detail in The Garden of Earthly Delights by Jheronimus Bosch.
Detail in The Garden of Earthly Delights by Jheronimus Bosch.

I’ve been touring personal websites as part of my ongoing website update. I noticed that I particularly enjoy coming across pages where people talk about beliefs they live by. Some call them personal philosophies, others call them principles, values, or rules.

Companies tend to have these kinds of pages, but I find personal ones interesting because they’re more specific and unique. They reveal something deeper about the individual than an “about” page.

They’re also quite engaging. Reading someone else’s beliefs makes me reflect on my own. Do I agree with this? Why yes and why not? Why am I cringing at this particular one?

I’ve instinctively steered clear of holding myself to “lifelong” beliefs (maybe this isn’t even a thing?). In my experience, it’s better to keep beliefs and values open to change, and it’s better to keep them detached from my identity.

To that end, I’m framing my own rules as guidelines—less strict, more open to interpretation. This isn’t an exhaustive list but I’ve referenced these enough that they feel like my own and not borrowed.

Give it your all, then sit back. It feels so much better walking away from the bigger things knowing that I’ve done everything I can, regardless of the outcome. And if I can’t give it my all, that’s a sign to walk away.

Choose honesty over the fear of discomfort. Sometimes it won’t be possible and that’s OK—I don’t believe honesty is always the right choice. But in moments that matter, honesty won’t break or take anything that’s truly meant to be.

Intuition is also knowledge. Choosing logical reasoning over intuition is the safer option, but not always the wisest. It takes more courage to trust an innate knowledge that no one else understands.

All feelings are valuable and need processing. This includes uncomfortable feelings. It’s not about never feeling down, it’s about feeling down but not staying there (for too long).

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Something about being able to laugh at myself (mistakes, terrible decisions, embarassing pictures, etc.) brings me joy and satisfaction. Unserious-ness is more conducive to a growth mindset, and it simply makes living more fun.