Is it want or desire?

Things you wanted most in the past often resurface when you’re on the verge of crossing into a new phase. It’s like desperate vendors at a market finally accepting the price you offered just as you’re about to walk away. This is the real test. It’s time to decide whether what you once wanted is still what you truly desire.

“Trust your gut” is what people usually advise, but not all of us have a secure relationship with our gut instincts. It’s good advice, though. It encourages you to get in touch with your desires beyond the cushy layer of your wants.

The question I return to when I’m unsure of my own wants and desires is: What did I want that thing for? Was it for external validation to soothe a past version of myself, or does it resonate with me on a deeper level, offering potential for mutual growth? The former is an indication of a want and the latter of a desire.

Wants tend to be influenced by external factors, tied to who you were at a specific moment. Desires are intrinsic and grow with you; they reflect your deeper values and sense of self. Wants can be fleeting and offer short-term satisfaction, but desires tend to remain steady and offer a sense of lasting fulfillment.

Regardless of the decision you make, there may be a lingering “what if,” but that feeling fades with time. Maybe you’ll regret the decision later, if you’ve established a stronger connection with your instincts, or if the path you took didn’t unfold the way you wanted. There’s no escaping regrets, and there’s not much certainty in our decisions, even if we think there is.

That said, not making a decision is worse—I’m sure of that. My feelings of stuckness have always been solved by simply making a decision. It’s good to stay open to options, but saying no will often bring you closer to what truly fits. So when the past comes back offering gifts, I’d say resist the lure.